🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 025: Aging gracefully… like a fine block of cheddar.

🎈 Cold Open

You know what's underrated? Getting older.

Last week, I finally did something I'd been putting off: I got a haircut that fully embraced my hair loss. No more strategic combovers or denial. Just a clean, confident cut that worked with what I've got instead of fighting against it.

As my barber put the finishing touches on it, he stepped back and said, "It looks good and gives you a younger, edgier feel."

Whoa. Me… edgy? Nah. I know he was probably just being nice (barbers are professional confidence boosters), but I'll take it. Because here's what hit me as I looked in that mirror: I used to think aging meant peak aches, missed references, and groaning whenever I stood up. And, I’m slowly getting there, but somewhere along the way, it also became permission to stop apologizing for taking up space. To finally work with my reality instead of against it. To say "No" without feeling like I needed to explain myself.

My 41st birthday is coming up on Monday, and instead of dodging it or pretending to be chill about it, I'm leaning in, like a good recliner. Sturdy, comfortable, and unapologetically taking up space.

I'm supposedly moving into the thick of what researchers call the "happiness dip", that valley between youth and wisdom (late 30s to early 50s) where life gets complicated and satisfaction tanks. But I'm starting to think the dip might be overrated too.

Aging is weird, funny, and occasionally profound. It's realizing that "rizz" sounds like a pasta shape and being perfectly okay with not knowing what it actually means. It's understanding that confidence isn't about having all the answers, rather it’s about being comfortable with the questions.

So this week, we're celebrating all of it. The crow's feet, the wisdom, the complete inability to understand TikTok, and the beautiful, messy, surprisingly joyful business of growing older.

🧠 The Science Bit

Here's some good news that'll make you feel better about every birthday candle: According to a mountain of research, including the legendary Harvard Study of Adult Development and multiple global well-being surveys, happiness doesn't peak in youth. It curves back up later in life.

This phenomenon is called the U-curve of happiness, and it's been documented across cultures, countries, and economic levels. The pattern is remarkably consistent: Life satisfaction starts high in your twenties, gradually declines through your thirties and forties, hits a low point around age 47-50, then begins climbing again, often surpassing those youthful happiness levels by your sixties.

But what's also particularly relevant in our hyperconnected age: You don't have to be in midlife to benefit from understanding this curve. Thanks to social media and constant digital comparison, even twenty-somethings are experiencing the psychological pressures that traditionally hit later, including the sense that everyone else has it figured out, that you're behind some invisible timeline, that your life should look more polished than it actually is. The lessons from the upward swing of the happiness curve are not age-restricted. The emotional regulation, perspective, and prioritization skills that naturally develop over time can be cultivated at any stage of life.

So why does happiness take a temporary vacation in midlife? If you’re getting there, already there, or have zoomed past the era, your forties are when life gets complicated. You're juggling career pressure, aging parents, mortgage payments, and possibly teenagers who roll their eyes at your very existence. You're old enough to realize your childhood dreams might not pan out exactly as planned, but young enough to still feel like you should be doing more. It's the psychological equivalent of rush hour traffic. Everything's moving, but nobody's getting anywhere fast.

But what’s beautiful is that the upward swing happens because you literally get better at being human.

Emotional regulation improves dramatically with age. 

Your brain becomes less reactive to negative stimuli and more efficient at processing positive experiences. Neuroimaging studies show that older adults' brains are less activated by negative images and more responsive to positive ones. You stop sweating the small stuff because your brain finally realizes most stuff is small stuff.

You master the art of prioritization. 

Remember when you used to RSVP "yes" to every invitation, volunteer for every committee, and say "sure!" to every request? Age teaches you that "no" is a complete sentence and that your time and energy are finite resources worth protecting. You learn to choose quality over quantity in everything from friendships to commitments.

Perspective becomes your superpower. 

You realize that most people are too busy thinking about themselves to judge your weird shoes, your career choices, or your decision to bring Tupperware to restaurants. The opinions of strangers lose their grip on you because you finally understand that their opinions were never really about you anyway.

Research also shows that older adults become more present-focused rather than future-focused. Instead of constantly striving for the next milestone, you start appreciating what you have right now. It's like finally understanding that the journey really is the destination, very much a cliché that only makes sense once you've been on the road long enough to appreciate the scenery.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

This week, I want you to unapologetically embrace your inner old soul. Choose one thing from the list below (try all 3 levels, if you’re feelin’ froggy) that feels like it belongs to a wiser, more eccentric, delightfully unbothered version of yourself:

Level 1 (Beginner Old Soul)

• Say "I need to sit down" even when you don't really need to

• Bring your own reusable container to a restaurant for leftovers

• Comment on the weather to a stranger like it's breaking news

• Use the phrase "back in my day" without irony

Level 2 (Intermediate Wise One)

• Give unsolicited but genuinely helpful advice to someone younger

• Start a conversation about how things were "better built" in the past

• Wear comfortable shoes to an event where others might choose style over comfort

• Tell someone a random "fun fact" they didn't ask for

Level 3 (Advanced Elderly Energy)

• Ask a store employee to help you reach something you could easily reach yourself

• Strike up a lengthy conversation with someone in a grocery store line

• Complain good-naturedly about technology while using it perfectly fine

• Offer someone candy from your purse/pocket like a kind grandparent

The goal isn't to mock aging. It's to embrace the confidence and comfort that comes with it. Notice how it feels to take up space without apologizing, to prioritize your comfort, and to engage with the world from a place of genuine curiosity rather than performance.

I want you to realize that the best part of getting older is realizing that being yourself, quirks, comfort-seeking, and all, is actually pretty delightful.

🎉 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

When Lydia and Andy moved into their new apartment, they weren’t expecting the neighborly soundtrack of slightly-too-loud classical music. But instead of calling in a noise complaint, they knocked and met 98-year-old Derek Peart, a retired dentist and piano player with a hearing aid issue and a heart full of music.

After a little help adjusting the volume, Derek started inviting them (and eventually other neighbors) over for monthly piano performances, paired with pizza, beer, and dessert. The man doesn’t just play from memory, he plays from legacy.

Aging goal unlocked: become the neighbor everyone looks forward to aging with.

📖 Read the full story on People.com

💬 Tell me what’s aged well in your life

From perfectly worn-in jeans to weird hobbies that finally feel cool. What’s something in your life that’s gotten better with age?

📩 [email protected]

Oh, and if this brought you even 1% more chill, forward it to a friend… or I’ll start mailing you leftover birthday cake with passive-aggressive frosting messages like, “Enjoy this while your metabolism still works.”

💰 Speaking of Wellbeing...

One thing the happiness research consistently shows is that financial stress can significantly impact your overall wellbeing, and it's one of the few stressors that doesn't automatically improve with age unless you actively address it. The good news is that it's never too late to get professional help with your finances, whether you're 25 or 65.

My friend Tom has created a handy 3 Step Guide to Get Total Control of Your Finances that will help you be in the driver's seat with your money. One of the steps actually gives you a way to get on the same page with your spouse about finances - something that can dramatically reduce household stress and improve relationship satisfaction.

I thought you might like it. Click here to grab Tom's 3 Step Guide to Get Total Control of Your Finances.

PS: I'm not sure how long Tom is going to have this available. Grab it now before it goes away.

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That’s Volume 025.
Here’s to birthdays, laugh lines, letting go, and getting better (and weirder) with age.

Until next time: breathe deep, stay weird, and chill the duck out.

Jason

🔬 Behind the Curtain

The U-curve of happiness has been documented in major longitudinal studies including the Harvard Study of Adult Development (running since 1938), the German Socio-Economic Panel Study, and cross-national data from over 500,000 people across 72 countries. Economist David Blanchflower's research consistently shows the happiness low point around age 47-50. Neuroimaging studies by researchers like Mara Mather at USC demonstrate that aging brains literally become less reactive to negative stimuli while maintaining strong responses to positive experiences - what scientists call the "positivity effect."