🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 034: My wife stole my clothes, and science says she was right to do it.

🎁 GIVEAWAY TIME!

Before we dive into this week's newsletter, I want to do another giveaway just because I appreciate all of you opening my email week after week, as well as getting emails from you when something that I said resonated with you in a positive way.

Now, I love the Christmas season and the fact that it starts before Halloween. So, this giveaway is inspired by my favorite time of the year… a Chill the Duck Out Christmas sweatshirt! 

Want to win for yourself or someone else? It's simple:

Just reply to this email with either:

• Something you love about the holidays, OR

• A Christmas-themed gif that'll put a smile on my face

Deadline: Sunday, November 23rd

I'll randomly select a winner and announce them in next week's newsletter and send out a sweatshirt to enjoy in time for the holidays. Now, onto this week's topic...

💭 Cold Open

The psychological attachment we have to our favorite comfortable clothes is something that we shouldn’t overlook.

Early in our relationship, my wife started "borrowing" my clothes. I call it borrowing. She calls it possession being nine-tenths of the law. The first casualty was a super-soft Old Dominion University t-shirt. I came home from work one day, and there she was, wearing my favorite shirt like it had always been hers. That was over 13 years ago.

That shirt was sadly retired recently because it was worn so thin and faded, but, don’t fret, the thievery has continued . Hoodies disappeared. Sweatpants migrated from my drawer to hers. Some of my most comfortable clothes were just… gone. Claimed. Redistributed to what she considers their "rightful owner" (her). I'd protest, but honestly, she looks happier in my clothes than I probably ever did, and I've learned to pick my battles.

I understand the appeal. Because when I put on my favorite worn-in hoodie or that one pair of sweatpants that's been washed a thousand times, something shifts. The texture, the weight, the way it sits on my shoulders… it's comfort in fabric form. It's like wearing a hug. And apparently, it's even better when it used to belong to your partner and still vaguely smells like them.

There's actual science behind why we get so attached to specific pieces of clothing. Why that 13-year-old t-shirt provides more comfort than a brand new one. Why stealing your partner's hoodie feels different than buying your own. Why certain clothes can literally change your mood just by putting them on.

So this week, as we're giving away a sweatshirt that I hope becomes someone's favorite comfort item, we're talking about the psychology and neuroscience of comfort clothing. Why your brain loves that worn-in sweatshirt. Why your partner's stolen clothes hit different. And why my wife was right all along about possession being nine-tenths of the law. At least when it comes to my Old Dominion t-shirt.

🧠 The Science Bit

So, let’s dig into why your favorite comfortable clothes aren't just physically soft, but psychologically powerful, backed by people who study textiles and brains instead of just losing their hoodies to their spouse.

Your clothes affect your psychology.

Research by Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky demonstrates that what we wear literally changes how we think and feel. They call this "enclothed cognition", which is the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer's psychological processes. In their studies, people wearing a lab coat they believed belonged to a doctor performed better on attention tasks than those wearing the same coat but thinking it belonged to a painter.

This takes me back to high school and a teacher who required us to dress better than the average day when we had to give presentations because, as Mr. Davies would emphatically proclaim, “When you look good, you feel good!”

But when it comes to your favorite comfortable clothes, your brain receives a signal: "We're in comfort mode now. It's safe to relax." This isn't just psychological. It's your nervous system downregulating, your stress hormones decreasing, your whole body getting permission to stop performing.

Soft textures literally reduce stress.

Studies on tactile comfort show that soft textures trigger oxytocin release (the bonding hormone) and reduce cortisol (the stress hormone).

When you touch something soft, your brain interprets this as safety. This is why weighted blankets work, why we pet animals when stressed, and why that impossibly soft sweatshirt feels like an emotional support garment.

Research shows people wearing soft, comfortable clothing report lower anxiety and better mood compared to those wearing stiff or scratchy materials. Your skin constantly sends signals to your brain, and "soft and gentle" translates to "safe and comfortable."

Why worn-in clothes feel better than new ones.

There's a reason your 13-year-old t-shirt feels better than anything new. Repeated washing breaks down fibers, increasing softness and flexibility. The fabric literally conforms to your body. But beyond physical changes, there's psychological comfort in familiar clothing. These items carry memories and associations. Your brain has positive neural pathways connected to that specific shirt because you've worn it during relaxed moments for years.

Stolen partner clothes hit different (science explains why).

Here's why wearing your partner's clothes provides extra comfort: scent and attachment. Research shows that the scent of a romantic partner reduces stress. A University of British Columbia study found that women who smelled their partner's clothing experienced lower stress and cortisol compared to neutral scents.

When your partner "steals" your favorite hoodie, they're getting a wearable reminder of you that literally calms their nervous system through scent. It's a portable hug. No wonder that Old Dominion t-shirt is still in rotation 13 years later.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

This week, I want you to pay attention to your relationship with comfort clothing and see if you can harness its psychological benefits intentionally.

Pick one approach:

The Comfort Uniform: Identify your most comfortable outfit. Pick the one that makes you feel immediately relaxed when you put it on. This week, wear it intentionally when you get home from work or on a stressful day. Notice if it changes how quickly you can unwind.

The Texture Audit: Go through your closet and identify which items feel the softest and most comforting. Notice which ones you naturally reach for when you're stressed or tired. Consider keeping these items easily accessible for difficult days.

The Partner Swap: If you have a partner, intentionally wear one of their comfortable items (with permission, unlike my wife's approach). Notice if it feels different than your own clothes. Pay attention to whether scent plays a role in the comfort factor.

The Cozy Evening Ritual: Create a "coming home" ritual where you immediately change into your most comfortable clothes. Make it a signal to your nervous system that the performance of the day is over and it's time to actually relax.

The goal is to notice how much your clothing actually affects your psychological state and to use that information intentionally. If certain items consistently make you feel calmer and more comfortable, that's valuable data worth paying attention to.

🎉 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

A family in Louisiana started finding random articles of clothing mysteriously appearing on their front lawn (socks, underwear, towels) and had no idea where they were coming from. Concerned about the situation, they set up a surveillance camera to catch the culprit. Turns out, the thief was their own cat, Admiral Galactic Cat (yes, that's his name and it's purrfect), who'd been sneaking into a neighbor's laundry room and bringing home "trophies" like the world's fluffiest burglar. If you think your partner stealing your comfortable clothes is bad, at least they're not dragging them through the neighborhood at 3 AM.

📺 Watch Admiral Galactic Cat in action on YouTube

🦆 The Chill the Duck Out Shop Is Open (and Your Wardrobe Called for Backup)

I've been having some fun creating designs and sampling products because I'm a creature of comfort and wanted my own wardrobe to be a little more chill. Instead of just writing about wellbeing, happiness, and not taking life too seriously, I wanted to actually wear that energy. So I've been designing pieces that feel as good as they look: soft, comfortable, and unapologetically chill.

Think cozy sweatshirts, comfortable tees, and the kind of clothes you'll actually want to wear on a random Tuesday when you just need to feel good. The kind of stuff your partner might eventually steal.

Hey, holiday shopping season is also here, which means it’s the perfect time to make your loved ones’ outfits a little happier, and maybe slip something into the cart for yourself accidentally on purpose. From duck-themed coziness to shirts that quietly scream “I’m fine, everything’s fine,” the new Chill the Duck Out Shop has your back, your front, and your general vibe.

Check it out here.

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That's Volume 034.

Here's to stolen hoodies, 13-year-old t-shirts, and remembering that sometimes the best things we own are the ones that make us feel like ourselves.

Until next time: breathe deep, wear something soft, and chill the duck out.

Jason

🔬 Behind the Curtain

Enclothed cognition research by Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky demonstrates how clothing systematically influences psychological processes. Studies on tactile comfort show soft textures trigger oxytocin release and reduce cortisol levels. Research on object attachment explains emotional bonds with familiar items that provide consistent comfort. University of British Columbia research reveals that partner scent reduces stress and cortisol, explaining why stolen partner clothing provides enhanced psychological comfort beyond the physical softness of the fabric.