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There’s a lesson that really should be taught in kindergarten, right after “don’t eat glue” and “sharing is caring”: Feelings are like farts.
If you hold them in too long, they get uncomfortable. They build pressure. And eventually, they find a way out, usually in a form that’s louder, messier, and way more dramatic than it needed to be.
The good news? These days, more of us are talking about emotional buildup. We know that bottling things up can backfire. We’ve read the posts. We’ve heard the podcasts. But still… actually letting it out? That part’s tricky.
Because sometimes life piles up and, instead of releasing the steam, we keep saying “I’m fine” like our teeth are on backorder.
This week, we’re here to laugh about it and do something about it. Not by oversharing to your mail carrier or having a meltdown in the canned goods aisle (unless that helps), but by making space for your emotions to breathe.
A sigh. A vent. A quiet “yeah, that actually bothered me.” Tiny releases = big relief.
Because just like farts, your feelings are normal, necessary… and a whole lot easier to deal with when they’re not being silently weaponized.
🧠 The Science Bit
Your Brain on Bottled-Up Feelings (aka Emotional Constipation)
Sure, stuffing down your emotions might feel like stoic strength in the moment. But according to science (and anyone who’s ever stared into the fridge at 2 a.m. wondering how they got there after saying “I’m fine”), emotional suppression is more like shaking a soda can: the pressure builds, and eventually… it’s gonna explode. Usually at an inconvenient time. Like during a work Zoom. Or while you’re just trying to microwave some sad leftovers.
Let’s break it down.
Your Brain on Suppression
Affective neuroscience research shows that when you suppress emotions, your amygdala (the brain’s alarm bell for danger) goes wild, while the regulatory regions meant to help you stay cool under pressure struggle to keep up. The result? You stay stressed and now it’s repressed stress, which is basically stress in Spanx.
The Body Keeps the Score (and It’s Petty About It)
Emotions don’t vanish just because you tell them to “take it down a notch.” Studies in psychosomatic medicine show that unexpressed feelings are linked to physical symptoms like muscle tension, disrupted sleep, and shifts in immune function. Basically, if you don’t talk it out, your body might act it out with headaches and hives.
The Long-Term Toll
A massive 2013 meta-analysis (read: smart people reviewed 25 years of studies) found that habitual suppression leads to worse psychological health, shakier relationships, and more physical issues. So while you might look “put together,” inside your nervous system is holding a picket sign that says “We’ve had enough.”
Better Options Exist
Psychologist James Gross and others have found that cognitive reappraisal (aka mentally reframing the situation) works way better than bottling it up. Instead of pretending you’re not upset your coworker ate your leftovers, you shift your thinking to, “Maybe they were in a dark place and my lasagna was the light.”
Feel It to Heal It
You don’t need to cry in public or trauma-dump on your barista. But even quick emotional releases, like journaling for 15 minutes or telling a friend “I’m overwhelmed”, send your brain the message: “We’re safe. You can stand down.”
TL;DR: Feel it now, or it’ll come back later… wearing a disguise and carrying drama.
🍟 This Week’s Happytizer: Let It Out (Strategically)
This week, give your feelings a low-stakes exit ramp.
Ideas:
Text a friend “I’m feeling weird and squishy today” and let that be the whole message.
Cry over that YouTube video you’ve secretly rewatched 17 times. As a parent, the music video to Michael Bublé’s Forever Now makes me weepy.
Whisper “wow, that actually bothered me” out loud after a weird interaction.
Write a note to your emotions like you’re their exhausted roommate: “Hey Sadness, I see you’re here again. Please wipe your feet this time.”
It doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to leave your system.
✨ Unsolicited Joy of the Week
Sometimes, all it takes to feel better is a reminder that you're not the only human trying (and failing) to keep it together.
Enter: 18 real people. 18 real farts.
From rogue wedding toots to gym-class disasters, this list of gloriously awkward gas moments is living proof that letting things out, intentionally or otherwise, is part of the human experience.
Because if someone can crop-dust a silent auction and live to tell the tale, you can survive releasing your emotions.
💡 Feeling Gassy for Knowledge?
Speaking of things you shouldn't hold in… let’s talk about your curiosity. Just like emotions (and, yes, farts), knowledge needs somewhere to go. That’s why I’m a fan of The 1440, the daily newsletter that lets you vent your need to actually understand the world without the drama or doomscrolling. It’s facts, not fluff. (No emotional crop-dusting here.)
There’s a link below the ad. Clicking on it helps both me and this sponsor, so definitely check it out. It only takes a second.
Looking for unbiased, fact-based news? Join 1440 today.
Join over 4 million Americans who start their day with 1440 – your daily digest for unbiased, fact-centric news. From politics to sports, we cover it all by analyzing over 100 sources. Our concise, 5-minute read lands in your inbox each morning at no cost. Experience news without the noise; let 1440 help you make up your own mind. Sign up now and invite your friends and family to be part of the informed.
💬 Tell me your “emotional support release valve”
Is it crying in the car? Rage-cleaning your kitchen? Listening to emo playlists in the bath? I want to know how you let it out.
Oh, and time is running out on the T-Shirt giveaway raffle! For every new subscriber that you refer, you get an entry to win this chilltastic t-shirt.
The raffle is going on now through June 15th.
Here’s your unique referral code to share far and wide: https://www.chilltheduckout.com/subscribe?ref=PLACEHOLDER
Share it… or else I’ll bottle up all your feelings and sell them as artisanal stress jams on Etsy.
🫶 Duckin’ Done
That’s Volume 010.
May your week be soft, your sighs loud, and your feelings free to roam the pasture of your psyche.
Until next time: exhale often, snack strategically, and chill the duck out.
— Jason
🧐 Behind the Curtain
Because even when we’re talking about farts, we fact-check:
Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). "Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348-362.
Pennebaker, J. W., & Chung, C. K. (2011). "Expressive writing: Connections to physical and mental health." In H. S. Friedman (Ed.), Oxford handbook of health psychology (pp. 417-437). Oxford University Press.
Chervonsky, E., & Hunt, C. (2017). "Suppression and expression of emotion in social and interpersonal outcomes: A meta-analysis." Emotion, 17(4), 669-683.
Turns out letting your emotions out (strategically) is backed by science, not just your group chat.