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🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 012: Let that pigeon go.

🐔 Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Before I get started today, I have an announcement. Big congrats to Chris Dunleavy from McMurray, PA, who just won our first-ever Chill the Duck Out t-shirt raffle!

Chris, your shirt is on the way. May it bring you unreasonable amounts of joy, unsolicited compliments, and at least one moment where someone says, “Where did you get that?”

💭 Cold Open

A few years back, we spent Father’s Day in New York City visiting the Central Park Zoo. It was our thing for a lot of years — spending Father’s Day at a zoo or aquarium somewhere in the eastern U.S. As I flipped through some pictures over the weekend, I thought about those good times and smiled.

You know what else I thought about? How pigeons in New York get treated like flying trash bags with feet.

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

Anyway, it got me thinking… in life, we all have our “pigeons.” Not actual birds (unless you’re a New Yorker, but I also feel like they hate everything that isn’t New Yawk).

But for the rest of us, “pigeons” are the people, places, and petty annoyances we’ve irrationally decided to despise.

For me? It recently became our HOA.

Now, is some of my frustration justified? Sure. These are the same folks who put out six pages of rules for our community pool and make a stink if your garbage can is visible from the street for more than 12 minutes. I’m not saying they’re cartoon villains or retirees with a thirst for mild tyranny, but if they started requiring standardized lawn gnome placement, I wouldn’t be shocked.

And yet, as much as I’ve made them the emotional scapegoat of my neighborhood experience, the truth is… they’re not actually ruining my life.

I still get to enjoy my pond view. I still watch the neighborhood alligator (yes, we have one) sunbathe like a tiny North Carolinian dinosaur.

I still take evening walks, breathing in that soft hint of salt that lingers in the air like the ocean whispering, “you’re fine.”

So, this week, I’m putting down the grudge. Because the mental energy I’m spending being irritated could be better used literally anywhere else, like spotting duck-shaped clouds while relaxing on a kitty shaped raft in the pool.

Your pigeon might not be a person. It might be a policy, a habit, a memory, or just a mood that you keep feeding. But the longer you carry it, the heavier it gets.

So, let’s name it. And then… let’s start letting it go.

🧠 The Science Bit

I liken holding grudges to collecting vintage poison. It takes up space, serves no purpose unless you’re trying to land yourself on a true crime documentary, and slowly makes everything worse.

Psychologists have a fancy term for this: chronic interpersonal stress. It's what happens when we become emotional hoarders, clutching onto every slight, betrayal, and "can you believe they said that?!" moment like they're precious artifacts instead of psychological garbage.

Here's what the research tells us about this particularly exhausting pastime:

Your brain on grudges is not pretty. Chronic anger and resentment activate your amygdala, which is the brain's smoke detector that can't tell the difference between a house fire and burnt toast. Meanwhile, all that emotional chaos suppresses your prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for rational thinking and good decisions. Basically, staying mad makes you tired and more likely to rehearse imaginary arguments in the shower like it’s a TED Talk.

Forgiveness is medicine. Research from Stanford's Fred Luskin and his Forgiveness Project shows that people who practice forgiveness experience measurable improvements: lower cortisol levels, better sleep quality, reduced blood pressure, and improved heart health. It's like your body throws a little celebration every time you let something go.

The happiness factor is real. Multiple studies have found that people who forgive others — not for the other person's sake, but for their own peace — report higher life satisfaction and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety. Turns out, dropping emotional baggage feels as good as it sounds.

But here's the key: Forgiveness isn't about becoming a doormat or pretending terrible things didn't happen. It’s not about condoning bad behavior or baking a forgiveness pie for someone who clearly doesn’t deserve dessert. It's about refusing to let someone else's actions rent permanent space in your head.

Think of forgiveness as emotional decluttering. You're not saying "what you did was okay." You're saying "I'm not carrying this anymore because it's too heavy and I have better things to do with my energy."

Science consistently shows that holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Your grudges aren't hurting them. They're just making you chronically stressed, emotionally exhausted, and approximately 47% more likely to overshare your grievances to innocent bystanders.

Maybe it's time to Marie Kondo your emotional baggage. If it doesn't spark joy, let it go.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer: The Pigeon Release Ceremony

Okay, not an actual ceremony (unless you want to rent a dove costume), but here’s your permission slip to emotionally let something fly away this week.

Try this:

• Write down one thing or person you’re irrationally annoyed by.

• Read it out loud like you're airing it on a reality show confessional.

• Crumple it. Toss it. Flush it. Burn it (safely).

• Exhale. Smile. Move on.

It’s a small step toward less stress and more sanity.

✨ Unsolicited Joy of the Week

Humanity’s hatred for pigeons is wildly misguided. These birds used to be war heroes, elite messengers, and even fashion symbols. Now? They’re just trying to eat a French fry in peace while we scowl.

This delightful article breaks down how our pigeon prejudice started and why we might want to chill. I’m talking to you New York.

🕊️ Read it here

💬 Tell Me…

What’s your pigeon?
Seriously. What random thing has been living rent-free in your brain, making you mildly ragey?

Reply to this email or write me at 📩 [email protected].

Oh, and if this newsletter made you feel even 1% more chill, share it… or I’ll start mailing HOA violation notices to your inbox.

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Giving the link a click (no obligation to do anything else) helps them and helps me. The folks at The 1440 do put together a great daily news summary and, thanks to their name, I learned when the printing press was created.

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🫶 Duckin’ Done

That’s Volume 012.
Let’s stop feeding emotional breadcrumbs to things that don’t deserve our energy.

Here’s to lighter minds, softer hearts, and finally making peace with that one weird neighborhood rule about mailbox height.

Until next time — spot the good, let go of the rest, and chill the duck out.

~Jason

🧐 Behind the Curtain

In case you thought I made all this up to justify my vendetta against HOA board meetings… nope. The science of letting go is real, and here’s the proof (no feathers ruffled in the making of this section):

• Luskin, F. (2002). "Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness." HarperOne.

• Worthington, E. L., & Scherer, M. (2004). "Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience: Theory, review, and hypotheses." Psychology & Health, 19(3), 385-405.

• Brosschot, J. F., Gerin, W., & Thayer, J. F. (2006). "The perseverative cognition hypothesis: A review of worry, prolonged stress-related physiological activation, and health." Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 60(2), 113-124.