🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 040: New Year. Same You. (And That's Okay).

💭 Cold Open

I have nothing against New Years’ resolutions. Our brains respond strongly to what psychologists call fresh starts.

Moments like a new year create a mental separation between who we were before and who we could be next. That break in time makes it easier to step out of old habits and imagine change, even if the circumstances around us stay the same.

The problem is that this boost is temporary. Motivation tends to fade once routines return. This defines my annual fitness resolution, where I hype myself up and become a modern day Miss Trunchbull.

The reality is that I've failed as many New Year's resolutions as I've started. Which is all of them. I've failed all of them.

The gym membership I used twice in January before it became an expensive reminder of my optimism. The journal that has exactly three entries, all from the first week of the year. The time I was going to drink more water and my wife bought a fancy water bottle that would light up to remind me to drink. The year I was going to wake up at 5 am to be more productive, which lasted until about 5:07 am on January 2nd when I remembered I’ve hated mornings since the days when I had to roll my butt out of bed before school for swim practice.

I've tried to become a morning person, a gym person, a journaling person, a person who meal preps on Sundays. I've resolved to read more, stress less, eat better, sleep earlier, be more organized, and basically transform into someone who has their life together. Every single January, I've looked at the calendar and thought, "This is it. This is the year I become a better, more put together person."

And every single February, I've been the same person I was in December. Yet, I’d start every year with the same optimism and intentions.

At some point, you have to look at the data and admit that maybe the problem isn't my willpower. Maybe it's the whole concept. Maybe the idea that you can become a better version of yourself just because the calendar rolled over is silly.

I'm the same guy on January 1st that I was on December 31st. The clock striking midnight doesn't suddenly make me a person who enjoys kale or thinks 5 am is a reasonable time to be conscious. Nothing about me fundamentally changes because we collectively agreed to start numbering days differently.

But the guy that I am isn’t that bad. Yes, he could stand to stress less and enjoy things more, but he doesn't need a complete personality overhaul. He just needs to stop trying to become someone else and work on actually enjoying the person he already is.

This year, no resolutions. No grand plans to transform into a different human. No promises to myself that I know I won't keep, which just sets me up to feel like a failure by Valentine's Day.

Instead, it’s okay to try something simpler. Small things that make each day a little better. Not run a marathon or completely reinvent myself. Just notice what makes today good and try to do that again tomorrow.

It's not dramatic. It's not Instagram-worthy. It doesn't need to be.

So this week, we're talking about why New Year's resolutions fail (they almost always do), why trying to become a different person doesn't make you happier, and why "New Year, Same You" might be the most reasonable approach to January you've ever tried.

🧠 The Science Bit

Here’s why your resolution to become a completely different person by February has about the same success rate as a penguin learning to fly, backed by research that basically confirms what you already suspected.

New Year's resolutions fail. Like, really fail.

Research shows that approximately 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February. By the end of the year, only about 8% of people actually achieve their resolution. That means 92% of us are setting ourselves up for failure every single January, then wondering what's wrong with us when it doesn't work. The failure rate is so rapid that the second Friday in January is actually called Quitters Day.

The "fresh start effect" is real, but temporary.

Research by Katy Milkman and colleagues shows that people are more motivated to pursue goals after temporal landmarks, like New Year's Day, birthdays, or Mondays. The fresh start effect is a genuine psychological phenomenon where these moments make us feel like we're starting with a clean slate.

The problem is that motivation spike is temporary. Studies show it typically lasts about two weeks. After that, you're back to being the same person with the same habits, except now you also have the guilt of abandoning your resolution.

Big, transformational goals usually backfire.

Research consistently shows that small, incremental changes are far more sustainable than dramatic overhauls. A study in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. And that's for small habits, not complete personality transformations.

When you set a resolution like "go to the gym five days a week" when you currently go zero days a week, you're not creating a sustainable habit, rather you're creating an unsustainable burden that requires constant willpower. And willpower, research shows, is a limited resource that depletes throughout the day.

Achieving goals doesn't make you permanently happier anyway.

The hedonic treadmill, also called hedonic adaptation, is one of the most well-established findings in happiness research. It shows that people quickly return to a baseline level of happiness even after major positive or negative life events. You achieve your goal, feel good for a bit, then adapt to your new normal and want the next thing.

Research by psychologists Philip Brickman and Dan Coates found that even lottery winners return to their baseline happiness levels within a few months. If winning the lottery doesn't create lasting happiness, your resolution to meal prep probably isn't going to either.

Small, consistent actions beat dramatic transformations.

Studies on behavior change consistently show that tiny, sustainable improvements compound over time while dramatic changes burn out quickly. Research by BJ Fogg at Stanford shows that tiny habits (actions so small they're almost laughably easy) are far more likely to stick than ambitious resolutions.

The science suggests that "do one pushup every morning" is more effective than "get ripped" because the former is sustainable and builds momentum, while the latter is overwhelming and invites failure.

Enjoyment-based goals are more sustainable than achievement-based goals.

Research shows that intrinsic motivation (doing something because you enjoy it) leads to more sustained behavior change than extrinsic motivation (doing something to achieve an outcome). When your goal is "enjoy each day more," you're motivated by the immediate reward of feeling good. When your goal is "lose 30 pounds," you're motivated by a future outcome that may never come, and you're miserable the entire time.

This doesn’t mean that, if you’re looking to make big changes because of family, health, or other significant reasons that you shouldn’t. Get the help and support you need to make those incremental changes that get you to where you want to go. Just maybe don’t consider them New Year’s resolutions.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

This week, instead of making resolutions you'll abandon by February, I want you to try the "Same You, Better Days" approach. Small things that make each day a little more enjoyable without requiring you to become a different person.

Here's how:

1. The "What Made Today Good?" Audit. Every evening for the next week, write down one thing that made today good. Not life-changing, just good. Maybe it was your coffee. Maybe it was a conversation. Maybe it was 10 minutes of sitting in your car before going inside. Just notice what worked.

At the end of the week, look at your list. Those are your real goals. Not "become a morning person," but "have more moments like these."

2. The One Micro-Improvement Rule. Pick ONE tiny thing that would make tomorrow slightly better. Just one small adjustment.

Examples:

• Put your phone charger across the room so you can't scroll in bed.

• Set out your clothes the night before so mornings are slightly less chaotic.

• Drink water before coffee (not instead of, we're not monsters).

• Stand up and walk in place during commercial breaks while watching your favorite show(s).

That's it. One thing. See if it actually makes tomorrow better.

3. The "Already Doing It" Inventory. Make a list of things you already do that make your life better. Things you don't have to force yourself to do, but you just do them because they work.

Maybe you already take walks. Maybe you already call a friend once a week. Maybe you already take your lunch break instead of working through it. Acknowledge whatever you're already doing that works.

4. The "No Because January Says So" Filter. Any time you're tempted to do something because "it's January and you're supposed to," stop and ask: "Would I want to do this in July?"

If the answer is no, it's not a sustainable change. It's just January pressure. Skip it. Do something you'd actually want to do in July instead.

The Anti-Resolution Challenge: At the end of the week, compare how you feel after seven days of small enjoyable things versus how you usually feel one week into aggressive resolutions. Notice the difference between I'm trying to be better (exhausting) and I'm trying to enjoy this more (sustainable).

Reflection questions:

• What actually made this week better?

• Which small things do you want to keep doing?

• How does it feel to not be trying to become a different person?

• What would happen if you spent the whole year focusing on enjoying each day instead of achieving big goals?

The goal is to stop setting yourself up for failure every January by promising to become someone you're not. You're the same person on January 1st that you were on December 31st. And maybe that person just needs permission to enjoy being themselves instead of constantly trying to be someone else.

💬 Tell me about your resolution failures

What resolutions have you failed over the years? What would "Same You, Better Days" look like for you?

📩 [email protected]

If this inspired you to skip the dramatic transformation and just try to enjoy being yourself a little more, share this with a friend... or I'll aimlessly start walking around your gym in a few weeks asking where everyone went.

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That's Volume 040.

Here's to New Year, Same You, small things that actually work, and remembering that you don't need to become a different person. You just need to stop being so hard on the person you already are.

Until next time: breathe deep, skip the resolution, and chill the duck out.

Jason

🔬 Behind the Curtain

Research shows approximately 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February, with only 8% achieving their goals by year's end. The "fresh start effect" documented by Katy Milkman demonstrates increased motivation at temporal landmarks, but this typically lasts only about two weeks. Studies in the European Journal of Social Psychology show it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. Hedonic adaptation research by Brickman and Coates demonstrates that even major positive life changes don't create lasting happiness increases. BJ Fogg's research at Stanford shows tiny habits are more sustainable than ambitious goals. Research consistently demonstrates that intrinsic motivation (enjoyment) leads to more sustained behavior change than extrinsic motivation (achievement).