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🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 018: Unroll yourself before you scroll yourself

💭 Cold Open

If you’re like me, you probably wake up, grab your phone to shut off your alarm, and next thing you know you're 20 minutes deep into the abyss of LinkedIn updates and TikTok chaos? “Just checking the weather” becomes “Why am I now cheering for a goat named Kevin to become an honorary park ranger?”

And I know, truly know, that spending time on my phone first thing in the morning is like feeding my brain a diet of Pop Rocks and soda.

So lately, I’ve been trying to deal with a different issue that deserves my attention first thing in the morning: the mystery of which body part is going to be achy today.

I’ve reached that magical stage of life where waking up feels like a daily episode of “Guess That Joint!” Will it be my neck? My lower back? That weird spot behind my left knee? Only one way to find out.

To combat the chaos (internal and external), I’ve been experimenting with a simple, non-revolutionary fix: stretching.

I don’t mean full-blown yoga or Instagram-worthy poses. I mean plopping down on the floor next to my bed and slowly working through whatever feels tight, cranky, or suspiciously crunchy.

Some mornings it’s a five-minute routine. Other days, I just reach for the ceiling, touch my toes, and rotate my neck like I’m warming up for a dramatic soap opera monologue.

It helps. A lot.

Physically, I feel less stiff. Mentally, I feel more grounded. And best of all? I’ve cut down my morning doomscrolling by 90%. Give or take a few percentage points.

So this week’s newsletter is a little love letter to your hamstrings, your sanity, and the kind of low-effort rebellion that says: “Not today, notifications. My body needs me more than you do.”

Let’s get into why a light stretch to start your day might just be your nervous system’s favorite alarm clock.

🧠 The Science Bit

Your body isn't designed to rocket from "dead asleep" to "let's tackle 43 unread emails and the impending collapse of civilization" without some kind of buffer. Think of morning stretching as that gentle friend who hands you coffee instead of screaming the day's catastrophes in your face like a Drill Sargent who maybe could have used a few more hugs growing up.

Here's what's actually happening when you choose stretches over scrolling:

Your nervous system gets a chill pill. Stretching activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the biological equivalent of your body saying, "Hey, maybe we don't need to prepare for battle just yet." This mode helps regulate stress instead of launching you straight into fight-or-flight mode because someone on X (forever Twitter in my heart) has opinions.

Your blood starts flowing to useful places. Instead of rushing to fuel your panic centers, increased blood flow goes to your muscles and brain, improving alertness, mobility, and mood. It's like giving your body a gentle wake-up call instead of an air horn to the face.

You remember how to breathe like a human. Stretching encourages deeper breathing, which lowers cortisol and oxygenates your system. Sure, it won't replace your morning coffee (let's not get crazy), but it's more effective than that third cup you'll desperately gulp while reading about supply chain disruptions.

Your brain gets a peaceful task instead of chaos. Rather than immediately feeding your mind a buffet of anxiety-triggering headlines, stretching gives you something calm to focus on. It's the difference between starting your day with meditation and starting it with a psychological fire drill.

The best part is that we’re not talking about contorting yourself into a human pretzel. We're talking basic moves: touch your toes, roll your shoulders, raise your arms to the sky like you're being held at gunpoint by the sun. Five minutes of gentle movement beats five minutes of learning why everything is terrible.

Your future self (the one who doesn't spend the entire day feeling like the world is ending) will thank you. And your phone will still be there when you're ready for it, probably with even more reasons to panic. But at least you'll face them with oxygenated blood and activated parasympathetic nerves instead of cortisol-soaked dread.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

Stretch. Don’t scroll.

Get on the scroll less train and try a 5-minute stretch instead of grabbing your phone first thing:

• Reach your arms overhead. Big inhale. Pretend you’re hugging a cloud.

• Neck rolls. Shoulder shrugs. Your body’s built-in WD-40.

• Touch your toes, or your shins, and say hello to your hamstrings.

• Roll your wrists and ankles like you’re warming up for the cha-cha slide.

That’s it. No yoga mat required. Just a few minutes of movement before your thumbs dive into the algorithmic abyss.

🎉 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

This doggo woke up, followed its owner into the living room, and fully committed to a stretch that would make any yoga instructor proud.

It’s cute. It’s committed. Now, if this pup can show up for its stretch routine, so can we.

📺 Watch the goodest stretch buddy in action

💬 Tell Me…

Are you already a morning stretcher? A half-asleep toe-toucher? Or is this the week you try it? Tell me all about it.

📩 [email protected]

If this newsletter helped you loosen up (literally or figuratively), forward it to a friend. Or else I’ll replace your pillow with a pile of uncooked spaghetti. Your choice.

🤖 Sponsored Stretch Break: Superhuman AI

I know ads in your inbox aren’t exactly joy-inducing, but hear me out: just clicking on a sponsor like Superhuman AI helps them and me keep the lights on around here, no strings attached.

Now, about AI: it’s not magic, but it is a tool. And when used right, it can help make your day a little smoother, your work a little faster, and your brain a little less melty. Superhuman AI is a pretty cool resource that helps you understand how to best utilize AI tools so that you can live and work smarter without losing your humanity.

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🫶 Duckin’ Done

That’s Volume 018.
Here’s to less scrolling, more stretching, and mornings that don’t start with existential dread.

Until next time: bend, breathe, and chill the duck out.
— Jason

🧐 Behind the Curtain

Research shows that reducing recreational screen time significantly improves self-reported well-being and mood, while constant exposure to devices like smartphones can severely affect mental health and increase stress and anxiety. Meanwhile, studies confirm that stretching activates your parasympathetic nervous system and increases blood flow to muscles and brain.