🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 015: When demons cheer you on

💭 Cold Open

Take a moment and picture this: You’re a baby. You’re minding your own business. Suddenly, a sumo wrestler hoists you into the air, a crowd gathers, and someone in a full demon mask jumps out just to make you cry!

And when you let out a big, glorious, red-faced wail?
Everyone cheers.

Welcome to Japan’s 400-year-old Nakizumo Crying Baby Festival, where the goal is to make babies cry for luck, health, and future strength.

It’s like the universe saying: “Hey, the scary parts? They’re not here to break you. They’re here to cheer you on.”

As someone who has always been a bit fearful about dipping my toe into unchartered waters, this got me thinking. What if we saw our own discomfort, awkwardness, and tiny fears that way?

Not as enemies. Not as signals to run. But as little emotional trainers helping us build resilience, one wiggle of discomfort at a time.

This week, we’re flipping our perspective on life’s mini-demons and learning to high-five them instead.

🧠 The Science Bit

There’s research that suggests that facing small, manageable challenges can help build resilience over time.

Think of it like emotional strength training, but you're not going full on strongman competition here. You're just lifting the tiny dumbbells of life's little stressors until your brain says, "Hey, maybe I can handle this."

Psychologists call this stress inoculation, a concept developed by Donald Meichenbaum. It's the idea that exposing yourself to small doses of stress (the kind you can handle) helps you build the coping muscles for bigger challenges later.

It's like vaccinating your nervous system… but with mild awkwardness and minor life hurdles instead of actual needles.

The benefits of facing your fears.

Here are the awesome outcomes of this accidental superpower training:

Brain training effects: Neuroscience studies suggest that when you handle small challenges successfully, you strengthen neural pathways in your prefrontal cortex — the brain's CEO that keeps everything running smoothly. This is the part in charge of regulating emotions and keeping your amygdala (your internal panic button) from throwing a full-scale tantrum every time you have to make small talk with your neighbor.

Mastery experiences: Albert Bandura's research on self-efficacy says every time you navigate a difficulty, even a small one, you add a little checkmark to your confidence column. It’s your brain's "I got this" folder slowly filling up with evidence that you're more capable than you thought.

Controlled exposure benefits: Research in exposure therapy shows that gradual, intentional encounters with mild stressors can reduce their impact over time. This is why people conquer phobias by working up to them, and why watching one scary movie won't actually turn you into a horror fan, but it might lower your flinch reflex next time something goes bump in the night. Or, in my wife’s case, maybe someday being able to enter a haunted house attraction.

Psychological resilience building: Studies in Psychological Science found that people who experience some adversity (not none, not overwhelming amounts, but a "just right" Goldilocks zone amount) often show greater resilience later on. Turns out a little rough patch makes you psychologically stretchier, like emotional yoga pants for your coping mechanisms.

Benign masochism (yes, it's a real term): Emerging research says our love for mildly unpleasant experiences, like spicy food, horror films, or sweat-drenched workouts, might serve a psychological function by helping us practice emotional regulation in safe, controlled ways. Basically, your ghost pepper hot wings might be making you emotionally tougher. Who knew that burning your mouth could build character?

The beautiful irony

You're, I’m almost certain, already doing this without realizing it. Every time you push through an awkward conversation, tackle a slightly intimidating task, or choose the harder workout, you're giving your nervous system a gentle, beneficial stress test.

It's like your brain is quietly becoming more resilient while you're just trying to get through Thursday. The small stuff you handle today is building the emotional infrastructure for whatever life throws at you tomorrow.

So the next time you're facing something mildly uncomfortable, remember: you're not just surviving it, you're training for what’s next.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer: Hug Your Little Demons

Pick one small, low-stakes discomfort this week and meet it with curiosity.

• Send the email you’ve been avoiding

• Try the class or hobby you’ve secretly wanted to, even if you’re awkward at first

• Speak up in a meeting that no one wants to be in because it could have been an email

• Watch a slightly spooky movie and remind yourself that you’re safe

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s practice. Get comfortable with the wiggle, not just the win.

And if you need a little pep talk to step into doing something a little scary, in Chill The Duck Out fashion, here’s some inspiration from some courageous little ducklings.

✨ Unsolicited Joy of the Week

This newsletter was inspired by the Nakizumo Crying Baby Festival, where the babies who “win” aren’t the ones who stay calm. They’re the ones who let loose, cry hard, and embrace the moment.

📖 Read more about the gloriously chaotic Crying Baby Festival

💬 Tell me your “little demon” victory

What tiny fear or discomfort did you face this week? What small awkward moment did you survive? Tell me your wiggle-win.

📩 [email protected]

And hey, if this brought you even 1% more chill, forward it to a friend… or I’ll send you a tiny demon mascot to remind you that you’re stronger than you think.

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That’s Volume 015.
May your week be stretchy, your fears feel smaller, and your resilience grow stronger… one awkward step at a time.

Until next time: hug your discomfort, laugh at your demons, and chill the duck out.

Jason

❤️ A Lil’ Click, A Lotta Love

Click the link to check out this sponsor and help me earn a $1 so that I can then use it to help pay for giving away some cool new Chill The Duck Out gear to a lucky reader next month.

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🧐 Behind the Curtain

Because even the scary topics deserve solid science:

1. Meichenbaum, D. (2007). "Stress inoculation training: A preventative and treatment approach." In P. M. Lehrer, R. L. Woolfolk, & W. E. Sime (Eds.), Principles and practice of stress management (3rd ed., pp. 497-516). Guilford Press.

2. Seery, M. D., Holman, E. A., & Silver, R. C. (2010). "Whatever does not kill us: Cumulative lifetime adversity, vulnerability, and resilience." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99(6), 1025-1041.

3. Bandura, A. (1977). "Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change." Psychological Review, 84(2), 191-215.

Turns out even tiny demons can help shape a mighty nervous system.