In partnership with

🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 043: Covered in duct tape.

🫶 The newsletter that aims to give back

A way for this newsletter to be a greater force for good is to donate 100% of the newsletter's ad revenue (minus taxes) to charities chosen by readers. So, when you get to this week's sponsor further down, check them out knowing you're helping them and the newsletter.

Now, let's talk about the messy middle.

🦆 Cold Open

Remember three weeks ago? January 1st…okay, probably January 2nd… you were a legend. You were a productivity powerhouse. You had a color-coded planner that smelled like ambition, a hydration goal that would make a camel jealous, and a 2026 vision that basically looked like a high-budget movie montage. You were finally going to figure out your career, organize that one closet that’s currently a structural hazard, and generally become a Person Who Has Their Life Together.

Yeah, me too. I even bought the fancy notebook. A fancy notebook with one of those thick, textured covers, proving it’s serious. But it mostly contains scribbled work notes, grocery lists, honey do items… basically a sloppy collection that proves my brain hasn’t really settled into the new year just yet.

And here we are in late January, and that Life Together vibe has been replaced by what Amy Whitaker, the author of Art Thinking and Economics of Visual Art, appropriately calls the Duct Tape Stage. 

This is the awkward, decidedly un-photogenic phase where nothing looks like the polished vision and everything feels like it’s being held together by sheer willpower and a prayer. It’s that messy middle where you’re mostly just wandering around hoping nobody realizes you’re making it up as you go.

The truth is that we are all making it up. Every. Single. One of us.

We’re obsessed with the after photo. The finished book. The successful business. The I’ve got it all figured out smile that says, I have achieved total zen, instead of, I just spent twenty minutes looking for my keys while they were in my hand. But the secret is that everyone is in the Duct Tape Stage of something.

• That perfect parent at the park? They’re in the Duct Tape Stage of also raising a teenager and currently wondering if it’s possible to communicate via smoke signals since talking has officially failed.

• The confident colleague in the meeting? They’re wondering if they can give feedback without anyone, including themselves, needing a stress-nap afterward.

• Even the greats? Harper Lee wore through two pairs of jeans writing To Kill a Mockingbird and likely spent half that time wondering if the whole thing was a giant mistake.

The difference isn't that some people have it figured out. It's just that some people are better at hiding the duct tape. But the Duct Tape Stage isn’t failure. It’s proof of life. It’s proof you’re actually doing the thing. It’s where the growth happens, even if it feels less like blooming and more like stumbling through a dark garage looking for a light switch.

So this week, we’re leaning into the mess. We’re talking about the science of productive struggle, why the highlight reel is a lie, and how to find the dignity in being exactly where you are: covered in metaphorical adhesive and doing your best.

🧠 The Science Bit

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That’s great, Jason, but the duct tape is sticky and I’d really like to just be at the finish line now, please. I get it. But as it turns out, your brain actually loves the mess. Even if your nervous system is currently sending you Success Not Found error messages, science says you’re right where you need to be.

Struggle is actually a desirable difficulty 

In educational psychology, there’s a concept called desirable difficulties. Basically, if learning feels easy, you’re probably not actually growing. A study in Psychological Science found that people who struggled through a task retained the info better than those who sailed through. That feeling of I have no idea what I'm doing is actually your brain's version of a heavy lifting workout. You’re building competence muscles, even if you feel like a toddler trying to put on leggings.

The process is the prize (even if the process is annoying) 

Research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that people who focus on the process (the daily how do I fix this?) are way happier than people who only care about the outcome (the am I there yet?). If you’re only looking at Point B, every second in the Duct Tape Stage feels like a personal failure. But if you focus on the experiment, the Duct Tape Stage is the win. You’re basically a scientist in a lab, except the lab is your life and you might be wearing your good sweatpants.

Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel 

We scroll through social media, see someone’s polished Point B, and assume our Point A is a dumpster fire. Science calls this upward social comparison, and it’s a total happiness-killer. A meta-analysis in the Personality and Social Psychology Review confirmed that comparing your messy middle to someone else’s finished product is a one-way ticket to Anxiety-ville. Remember that they have duct tape, too. They just have better lighting.

The progress principle (or: small wins count!) 

Teresa Amabile at Harvard found that making even a tiny bit of progress on meaningful work is the single biggest booster for your mood. The Duct Tape Stage is full of these. One slightly less awkward conversation? A win. Figuring out how to use that one software feature? A win. Not throwing your laptop out the window today? Huge win.

The power of yet 

Carol Dweck’s research on the Growth Mindset is the ultimate duct-tape tool. A fixed mindset says, I'm bad at this, I should stop. A growth mindset says, I'm not good at this yet. The Duct Tape Stage isn't evidence that you're a fraud; it's evidence that you're becoming.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

This week, instead of trying to sprint toward the finish line or pretending you have it more figured out than you do (I see you and your color-coded planner), I want you to practice sitting with the dignity of where you actually are.

Here’s your Duct Tape Action Plan:

1. Name your mess. What are you in the middle of that feels like a structural hazard? Parenting? A new job? A creative project? Name it. Say it out loud: I am officially in the Duct Tape Stage of [Insert Chaos Here].

2. Find the Struggle Gold. Forget where you’re going for a second. What question are you asking now that you didn't even know existed six months ago? The gold isn't in the trophy; it’s in the fact that you were brave enough to show up without a map.

3. Mute the Point B People. Notice whose polished, filtered life you’re comparing your blooper reel to. Remind yourself that you’re seeing their after photo, not the three years they spent wondering if they were a failure.

4. Lower the bar (No, lower than that). Success this week is staying in the ring. It’s one more day of trying. It’s not throwing the duct tape in the trash and walking away.

5. Confess your Duct Tape. Tell a safe person what you’re figuring out. Not the I've got it handled version, but the real one. Vulnerability is the ultimate un-sticker. It makes you realize you aren't the only one holding things together with metaphorical adhesive.

Your Permission Slip: You are allowed to be in progress. You are allowed to not know the answer. The middle isn't a failure; it’s a construction site. Hard hats are optional, but self-compassion is mandatory.

🎉 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

This week’s joy is a bit meta: I am officially in the Duct Tape Stage of this very newsletter.

When I started Chill the Duck Out about a year ago, I had a very polished vision of what this would be. Now? We’re 43 weeks in, donating ad revenue to charity, and building a community, and I still regularly stare at my screen wondering if I’m doing any of this right. Even for this week’s newsletter, the words just weren’t coming, so I hopped over to Gemini and spent too much time generating an image of a rubber ducky with duct tape.

I’m still figuring out how to be funny without being flippant. How to be vulnerable without being too much, when I’ve always sucked at vulnerability to begin with. Figuring out how to grow this thing without losing the soul of it.

I am covered in metaphorical duct tape.

But the gold isn’t in a perfect subscriber count. It’s in the I needed this today emails that I get from readers. It’s in the mess of learning. Point B will get here when it gets here, but for now, I’m actually enjoying the view from Point A. It’s messy, but the company is great.

💬 Tell me about your Duct Tape Stage

What are you in the middle of figuring out? What's one piece of gold you've found in your messy Point A?

📩 [email protected]

If this made you feel better about being a work-in-progress, share this with a friend who is also in the Duct Tape Stage... which, as we’ve established, is literally everyone.

💌 This week’s sponsor

Reset Your Energy and Feel Lighter With a January Liver Reset

January is the perfect time to reset, rebalance, and support your body after the indulgence of the holidays. If you’re doing Dry January or simply craving a fresh start, focusing on liver health can make a powerful difference—and it’s one of the most overlooked wellness rituals.

That’s why I’ve made Pique’s Liver Detox Protocol part of my January reset. Inspired by over 3,000 years of Traditional Chinese Medicine, this gentle daily ritual supports your body’s natural detoxification processes without harsh cleanses or deprivation.

The protocol includes two simple moments a day: Electric Turmeric in the morning and La Ginger in the evening. In the morning, Electric Turmeric feels warming, grounding, and nourishing—like a calm reset before the day begins. At night, La Ginger is bold and soothing, supporting digestion and overnight renewal.

Within weeks, I noticed steadier energy, less bloating, clearer skin, and an overall lighter feeling. It didn’t feel like a detox—it felt like alignment. Two small rituals, big results.

Get 20% off + free gifts

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That's Volume 043.

Here's to celebrating the duct tape, finding the gold in Point A, and remembering that being in the weeds is proof you're building something that matters.

Until next time: breathe deep, embrace the mess, and chill the duck out.

Jason

🔬 Behind the Curtain

Research in Psychological Science demonstrates that desirable difficulties and productive struggle lead to better long-term learning than easy experiences. K. Anders Ericsson's research on expertise shows deliberate practice (inherently difficult) separates experts from novices. Studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology show process-focused individuals report greater life satisfaction than outcome-focused individuals. Meta-analysis in Personality and Social Psychology Review links upward social comparison to negative emotional outcomes. Teresa Amabile's progress principle research at Harvard shows small progress on meaningful work is the primary driver of daily motivation and positive emotions. Carol Dweck's growth mindset research demonstrates that viewing abilities as developable through effort increases resilience and success.