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🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 035: Your brain on generosity (it's a legal high)

💭 Cold Open

Happy Wednesday instead of our regular Thursday newsletter! With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I didn’t want to be the reason anyone is tempted to spend time on a device rather than with friends and family. So, before we dive in, I just wanted to wish you all a blessed and Happy Turkey Day 🦃

Now, onto this week’s newsletter!

Every year, I get caught off guard when the Salvation Army bell ringers appear outside stores. Suddenly it's that time of year again, and I'm walking past the red kettle with nothing but a debit card and a vague sense of guilt. So over the years, I've made it a point to actually carry cash during the holidays specifically for this reason, which is oddly old-fashioned in an age where I can tap my phone to buy almost anything but still need actual dollar bills to drop in a bucket.

It's not just about the bell ringers. This time of year you also notice Toys for Tots boxes at stores, the food donation bins at grocery stores, the angel trees with tags for kids who need Christmas gifts. They're everywhere during the holidays, and each one is an opportunity to add something small to whatever I'm already doing.

This is where improv comedy taught me something useful about life. In improv, there's a foundational rule: "yes, and..." When someone makes a statement or creates a scenario, you accept it ("yes") and then build on it ("and"). You don't reject it or shut it down. You take what's been offered and add to it, making the scene richer and moving the story forward together.

What if we applied that same principle to holiday giving?

Not "should I give?" or "can I afford to give?" but "yes, I'm already going to the grocery store, and I can grab an extra can of soup for the food drive." "Yes, I'm already shopping for my kids, and I can pick up one extra toy for Toys for Tots." "Yes, I'm already grabbing cash for the week, and I can make sure some of it goes in the red kettle."

It's not about grand gestures or life-changing donations (though those are great if you can swing them). It's about the small "and" that you add to what you're already doing. The additional item in your cart. The extra dollar in your wallet designated for someone else. The moment where you say "yes" to your existing plan "and" add something that helps someone else.

But here’s something to remember as we head into Thanksgiving and the holiday season: a lot of people are alone, without enough to eat, or watching their kids wish for gifts they can't afford. And while we can't solve all of that, we can add small things to our existing routines that make a real difference. We can practice "yes, and..." thinking.

I'm already going to the store. And I can drop some cash in the bucket on my way in.

I'm already buying groceries. And I can add something to the food donation bin.

I'm already holiday shopping. And I can grab something for a family who needs it.

So this week, as we head into Thanksgiving, we're talking about the science of giving, why small acts of generosity compound into something meaningful, and how "yes, and..." thinking makes generosity feel less like obligation and more like a natural extension of what we're already doing.

🧠 The Science Bit

Let's dig into why adding small acts of generosity to your existing routines doesn't just help others, but literally makes you happier, backed by people who study giving instead of just feeling guilty about walking past donation bins.

Giving triggers a "helper's high" (it's real).

Research consistently shows that acts of generosity activate the brain's reward system, releasing endorphins and creating what psychologists call the "helper's high." Studies using fMRI scans show that giving money to charity activates the same pleasure centers in your brain as receiving money yourself, sometimes even more intensely. When you drop that dollar in the red kettle, your brain gives you a hit of dopamine and endorphins as a reward. You're literally getting a natural high from helping others.

Dr. Elizabeth Dunn's research on "prosocial spending" demonstrates that spending money on others makes people happier than spending it on themselves. In multiple studies across different cultures and income levels, people who spent money on others reported greater happiness than those who spent it on themselves, regardless of the amount spent. The boost comes from the act of giving, not the size of the donation.

Small, consistent giving beats large one-time donations (for your wellbeing).

Studies show that frequent small acts of generosity provide more sustained happiness benefits than occasional large donations. When you practice "yes, and..." giving and adding something small every time you're already at the store or already out shopping, you're creating multiple moments of helper's high rather than one big burst. It's like the difference between one large meal versus eating regularly throughout the day. The consistent small acts keep your prosocial behavior system engaged and your happiness levels elevated.

Research by psychologists Lara Aknin and Michael Norton shows that the happiness boost from giving is remarkably consistent across different amounts. Whether you give $5 or $50, the psychological benefits are similar. What matters more is the frequency and the sense of connection to the impact. When you drop cash in the Salvation Army bucket every time you shop, you're reinforcing a pattern of generosity that compounds into greater life satisfaction.

Generosity strengthens social connection (even with strangers).

Studies show that prosocial behavior activates brain regions associated with social bonding and connection, even when the recipient is a stranger you'll never meet. When you add a toy to the Toys for Tots box, your brain treats this as a form of social connection. You're contributing to your community, reinforcing your identity as someone who helps others, and strengthening your sense of belonging to something larger than yourself.

Research demonstrates that people who regularly engage in small acts of generosity report stronger feelings of community connection and social purpose. The "yes, and..." approach makes this sustainable because you're integrating it into your existing life in a way that feels natural rather than burdensome.

The holidays amplify the benefits (and the need).

Research shows that prosocial behavior during traditionally generous times (like the holidays) provides additional psychological benefits because it aligns with cultural norms and collective giving. When everyone is thinking about generosity, your individual acts of giving feel more meaningful and connected to something larger. You're participating in a shared cultural practice, which amplifies both the social connection benefits and the personal satisfaction.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

As we move further into the holiday season, if you can, I want you to practice "yes, and..." thinking with small acts of generosity as you go about your normal routines. The goal is to add giving to what you're already doing rather than treating it as a separate obligation.

Pick one approach (or try multiple):

The Cash Preparation: Before heading out to stores this week, intentionally grab some cash specifically for donation opportunities. Keep it separate in your wallet. When you see a bell ringer or donation opportunity, you're already prepared to say "yes, I'm shopping, and I can drop this in the bucket."

The Extra Item Addition: Next time you're at a store with a food drive bin or Toys for Tots box, add one item to your cart specifically for donation. It doesn't have to be expensive. A can of soup, a box of pasta, a small toy. Just add it to what you're already buying and drop it in the bin on your way out.

The Angel Tree Pull: If you see an Angel Tree (tags with gift requests from families in need), grab one tag. Buy that specific gift along with your regular shopping. You're already getting gifts for people, so add one more person to that list.

The Regular "And" Practice: Every time you do something routine this week (grocery shopping, getting coffee, shopping for anything), ask yourself: "What's the 'and' I can add to help someone else?" Maybe it's rounding up your change for charity. Maybe it's buying an extra item for donation. Just practice adding something small.

The goal isn't to become a saint or solve all the world's problems. It's to notice opportunities to add small acts of generosity to what you're already doing and see how it feels. Notice if the helper's high is real. Notice if it changes how you feel about the holidays.

🦇 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

Turns out Batman doesn't just fight crime.

He makes people kinder.

Researchers in Milan had a visibly pregnant woman board crowded subway trains and measured how many passengers offered their seats. Then they added one twist: someone dressed as Batman quietly entered from another door. The results? Seat offers jumped from 38% to 67%. The wildest part? Nearly half the people who gave up their seats said they never even noticed Batman was there.

The researchers call it "the Batman effect", where unexpected disruptions snap us out of autopilot and make us more attuned to others' needs. Maybe you don't need to dress as a superhero. Maybe just breaking your own routine is enough to notice the donation bin, the bell ringer, or the person who needs help.

Sometimes being present is the first step to being generous.

Read the full study

💬 Tell me about your "yes, and..." giving

What small acts of generosity have you added to your regular routines? What's your version of carrying cash for the bell ringers?

📩 [email protected]

If this inspired you to add even one small "and" to your holiday routine, share this with a friend... or I'll dress as Batman and follow you through the grocery store until you notice the donation bin.

☕ Speaking of "Yes, And..."

You know what else deserves a "yes, and..." this week? Your morning routine.

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🫶 Duckin’ Done

That's Volume 035.

Here's to helper's highs, small additions that make big differences, and remembering that generosity doesn't have to be grand to be meaningful.

Until next time: breathe deep, add an "and," and chill the duck out.

^{I got tired of typing my name, so I’m trying this out as my new signature. Let me know what you think :)}

🔬 Behind the Curtain

The "helper's high" is documented through neuroimaging studies showing giving activates reward centers and releases endorphins. Elizabeth Dunn's prosocial spending research demonstrates that spending money on others increases happiness more than spending on yourself, with effects consistent across cultures and income levels. Studies by Lara Aknin and Michael Norton show frequent small acts of generosity provide more sustained wellbeing benefits than large one-time donations. Research consistently finds that prosocial behavior strengthens social connection and community belonging, with amplified effects during culturally significant giving periods like the holidays.