🦆 CHILL THE DUCK OUT

Volume 037: The best things aren’t on the itinerary.

🙏 A Moment of Gratitude

Before we dive in, quick gratitude moment:

This past week, we made a near-last-minute trip to Oahu to be there when our oldest son got home from his first deployment. We hadn't seen him in almost a year, he’d been underwater for 120+ days, so it was a trip we needed to make when he asked for someone to be there.

I’m heading back to North Carolina grateful. For the time we got with him (including family tattoos, because apparently that's how we mark occasions now). For the Navy taking care of him while he was gone. For my boss being incredibly understanding about my last minute vacation request for a week off. And for my parents, who took care of our youngest and our animals, who are adorable but also objectively a pain in the butt, so we could actually make this happen.

Sometimes you need a village just to take a trip. This week, I had one.

Now onto this week’s newsletter.

💭 Cold Open

Taking a drive with absolutely no idea where you're going is something we should all strive to do more often.

In putting together our last minute trip, we didn’t really have much of a plan... other than getting there. Before our son got in, we had a day to get our bearings and, one afternoon, we decided to just… drive. The only known detail about the destination was that I wanted to find the most Hawaiian surf shop that I could, so we headed up the coast to check out the Hale’iwa Surf Shop, which was every bit the beachfront hut that I could have hoped for. The owner is a long-time resident and surfer named Rain (fantastic name for a surfer, right?), who steered us to Pipeline Beach, a hotspot for surfers, after learning we had no real plan other than to enjoy the island. We took in the full North Shore package of electric blue water churning into white foam, backed by those impossibly green volcanic mountains that make every Hawaii postcard look understated, while a group of surfers both dazzled us with their skills on the waves and entertained us with their wipeouts. The last leg of the impromptu drive was ending up at a beachfront food truck that served the best fish tacos.

None of it was on the itinerary. All of it was perfect.

Here's what I keep thinking about: the stuff we carefully research and schedule are fine. Good, even. But the random coastal drive we took on a whim is the story we'll tell for years. The food truck we'll probably never eat at again. The surf shop we only discovered because of my desire to feel like a local surf bum. The beach where we just sat and watched strangers do something they love.

We live in an age of optimization. Five-star reviews. Top-rated attractions. Carefully curated "must-do" lists that everyone does exactly the same way. We research vacations to death, filling every hour with the statistically best possible experience, engineering spontaneity right out of existence.

And in the process, we miss the magic that only happens when you don't know what's coming.

So this week, we're talking about the science of spontaneity, why over-planning actually diminishes joy, how novelty lights up your brain in ways predictability never can, and why the best memories often come from the moments that weren't supposed to happen at all.

🧠 The Science Bit

Let's dig into why that unplanned coastal drive created a better memory than any five-star-rated attraction could, backed by research on spontaneity, novelty, and why your brain loves surprises more than it loves schedules.

Spontaneous experiences create stronger positive memories than planned ones.

Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research shows that spontaneous experiences are remembered more fondly than planned ones, even when the actual experience is objectively similar. The spontaneity itself becomes part of the story, adding layers of novelty and surprise that planned activities lack. A University of Pennsylvania study found that people who engaged in spontaneous activities reported higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction than those who stuck strictly to plans.

Over-planning diminishes joy and increases stress.

Studies show that excessive planning can actually reduce enjoyment. Research in the Journal of Experimental Psychology demonstrates that over-planning creates rigid expectations, and when reality inevitably differs, satisfaction drops. Dr. Cassie Mogilner Holmes at UCLA found that people who micro-plan vacations report less enjoyment than those who leave room for spontaneity. The paradox: we plan obsessively to maximize happiness, but the planning itself constrains joy.

Novelty activates your brain's reward system more powerfully than familiarity.

Neuroscience research shows that novel experiences trigger dopamine release in ways that familiar, predictable experiences don't. When you stumble onto Hale'iwa Surf Shop and meet a surfer named Rain instead of going to the restaurant with 4.8 stars and 3,000 reviews, your brain treats it as an exciting discovery rather than a checked box. fMRI scans show the brain's reward centers light up more intensely for unexpected positive experiences than expected ones.

Serendipity creates better stories and stronger bonds.

Research on shared experiences shows that spontaneous moments create stronger social bonds than scheduled activities. When you stumble onto Pipeline Beach together, you're co-creating a unique memory that belongs only to you and not following the same path thousands of tourists have photographed. Psychologist Christian Jarrett's research shows unexpected experiences are encoded more vividly because your brain pays more attention to novelty.

We dramatically under-explore compared to what would maximize satisfaction.

Behavioral economics research on exploration versus exploitation shows that people stick with the known even when trying something new would statistically yield better outcomes. This is especially true in travel… same destinations, same chain restaurants, same "top 10" lists. But research is clear: people who explore more report higher life satisfaction and create richer memories.

🍟 This Week’s Happytizer

This week, I want you to take one unplanned detour and see what happens when you stop optimizing every decision and leave room for serendipity.

Pick one (or try multiple):

The Different Route: Drive or walk a completely different route to somewhere you go regularly. No GPS optimization. Take a turn you've never taken. See what you notice. Maybe you'll find a coffee shop that's been there for years that you never knew existed.

The Spontaneous Yes: Say yes to an invitation or suggestion you'd normally decline because it's "not on the schedule" or "not really your thing." Don't research it first. Don't read reviews. Just show up and see what happens.

The Unplanned Saturday: Pick one day this week (Saturday works great) and don't schedule it. At all. Wake up and decide what you feel like doing in that moment. Let the day unfold instead of engineering it.

The Random Restaurant: Instead of going to your tried-and-true place or the spot with the best reviews, close your eyes, scroll through Google Maps, and go to wherever your finger lands. Or better: drive until something looks interesting and just pull over.

The "Someone Else Chooses" Challenge: Let someone else, such as your partner, your kid, a friend, choose an activity without telling you what it is first. No input, no research, no vetoing. Just trust and show up.

The Side Road Rule: Next time you're driving somewhere and see an interesting side road, turn onto it. Explore for 10 minutes. Maybe you find nothing. Maybe you find the best fish tacos of your life.

The key to all of these is to notice how it feels to not know what's coming. Notice the small spike of anxiety when you're not in control. Notice when that anxiety shifts into curiosity. Notice what you discover that you would have missed if you'd stuck to the plan.

Pay attention to the stories that come from these unplanned moments. The random conversation. The unexpected view. The thing you stumbled onto that you'll remember longer than the thing you researched for an hour.

Bonus reflection: Think about your best memories from the past year. How many of them were meticulously planned versus spontaneously discovered? Odds are, the spontaneous ones hit different.

The goal isn't to never plan anything. Planning has its place. The goal is to leave enough space in your life for the things you can't plan. To trust that good things can happen without engineering every variable. To remember that sometimes the best experiences are the ones you didn't see coming.

🏄 Unsolicited Joy of the Week

I'm sticking with the island vibe for this one. Surfer Today collected hilarious surf stories that prove the best moments don't go as planned. Like the surfer showing off for a group of women until his fin snagged in the sand, sending him flying with a wind-knocked-out grunt in front of everyone. Or the drunk college kid paddling around with a beer in his boardshorts. Or the guy who walked fully-suited to the beach only to learn the yellow flag meant no surfing—cue the walk of shame back to his car. The wipeouts and embarrassments? Those are the stories they tell for years

Read them all here

💬 Tell me about your unplanned adventure

What's the best thing you ever found because you didn't stick to the plan? What happened when you just drove and saw what showed up?

📩 [email protected]

If this inspired you to take at least one unplanned detour this week, share this with a friend... or I'll follow you around with a color-coded itinerary and minute-by-minute schedule until you surrender to spontaneity.

🫶 Duckin’ Done

That's Volume 037.

Here's to random coastal drives, food trucks by the ocean, and remembering that the best stories rarely show up on the itinerary.

Until next time: breathe deep, take a turn you've never taken, and chill the duck out.

Mahalo,

Jason

🔬 Behind the Curtain

Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research shows spontaneous experiences are remembered more fondly than planned ones. Studies from the University of Pennsylvania demonstrate that spontaneous activities increase happiness and life satisfaction. Research in the Journal of Experimental Psychology shows over-planning creates rigid expectations that diminish actual enjoyment. Dr. Cassie Mogilner Holmes' research at UCLA finds micro-planning reduces vacation satisfaction. Neuroscience research demonstrates novel experiences trigger stronger dopamine responses than familiar ones. Christian Jarrett's memory research shows unexpected experiences are encoded more vividly. Behavioral economics research on exploration-exploitation trade-offs shows people systematically under-explore relative to what would maximize long-term satisfaction.